One time my cousin walked into seminary and exclaimed, "life... what is it?!" I thought that his outburst was completely relevant to a seminary setting. I have thought about that comment a great deal over the years and I have a some thoughts as to what I want to do in and with my life.
I think it is an important thing to experience a bit of stress in thinking about what we are to do with our lives. It should be a decision of great intensity. Personally, I feel the stress of this question on a daily basis. I think I may overthink it. My aspirations are great because I have very demanding parents. For some weird reason I could never do anything half heartedly in my home growing up. Maybe it was because I was their very first child but I wasn't allowed to not work hard at anything. Sometime I felt overwhelmed that I was living my life for my parents. It seemed that running away and becoming a professional skateboarder or surfer or rock climber just wouldn't fly with them.
Have you ever read the book "Into the Wild"? I have felt like that many times. Sometimes I just want to run away and see the world, I want to experience things for myself, I have a tug of adventure that blinds me to the comfort of home and a good education. For brief moments I feel like I am trapped in the normal life. Growing up, getting a good job, having kids, and serving in the church. These are all things that are expected of my by everyone I love. If I do anything to threaten those things I will end up disappointing everyone. The dread of this disappointment has always stopped me from doing anything I would regret. I know that no matter what I do, that inkling for adventure will never stop burning in my chest. It will consume me until I find some way to quench it.
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